Courtship and dating in the philippines

If she says anything that is not a no, you have the go-ahead to try your hand at winning her affection. The traditional way of courting a Filipino woman is not to go out on a date. You have to visit her at home in the evening and talk to her in the sala living room with her parents watching nearby.

You just chat for a few weeks. But there has to be a chaperone — maybe the mother or her yaya the paid help who raised her or the most trusted maid of the household who will carry the umbrella to shield her ward from the sun.

This rule apply both to men and women. Filipinos loved to see their partner pretty, handsome, fresh and clean. Dress yourself and beautify yourself every time you go on a date. Not too much, but still good to see. Filipinos women are impressed by a mannered and gentle man. Offer them a seat and opening the door for them is next on step of becoming a gentleman. You may also read: Filipinos love, love food so much. Filipino culture is close with Latin and Spanish, so their menu would not far away from tocino, tapa, hotdog, rice, and coffee. If you come from a different culture, and wanted to date Filipinos, show some interest to their culture.

Ask them a lot about it and mingled with the natives. Filipinos will be impressed if you want to learn and understand their culture. As man is the leading player in their dating culture, he has to try harder to work everything out. You can make a good impression by entertaining her and her family.

So you can try to ask them singing with you, creating an enjoyable family meeting. And, never turn them down if they ask you to sing or dance. Just like any typical Eastern countries, virginity is still one of the thing highly valued in Philippines. The women never gives up their virginity on a date.

Instead, they wait until marriage was made official. This is why dating a Filipino woman is truly worth it. They look more to the religion rather than culture.

My Philippine Dreams

They loved to be pursued and needed by men. They loved to receive some random text pouring your feeling and heart to them. So, Apo Sinti had his special table in the kitchen. A rather small one. He always ate ahead of everybody. Apo La Paz herself, not a maid, would set the table. Then she'd have him called. He'd come, sit down, and eat silently. She'd be bustling in the kitchen -- checking the food a-cooking on the stoves, the setting of their huge family table, the gradual filling up of the dining room with people, food, and the drinks and sweets which were on another table ready for serving.

During all this she would check on Apo Sinti -- saw to his glass of iced water which had to be replenished always, and the banana which was his preferred fruit. They did not speak with each other. He ate all that was served him. She knew exactly how much rice he ate and what viands he preferred and how much of these he consumed. Then as silently as he came in, he'd leave. Apo La Paz would then call one of the maids to clean the table and place it in one corner of the kitchen. One Sunday morning, Apo Sinti staggered to a traysikad, a bicycle with a side car, even before the mass ended in our one Catholic Church proximate to the town plaza.

He didn't make it back to their house. He had a heart attack.

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Apo La Paz cried, but she didn't wail. She saw to all the funeral arrangements. She was the overseer of the wake.


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After the funeral she retired to her room. She had to be called for the family meals.


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She receded into silence. The second story, has to do with the old couple across our house. I don't remember their names. They were a very quiet, self-contained husband-and-wife. They married late, it seems. Their only child was a loquacious tall male who since childhood manifested strong signs of effeminateness. The son was away for high school. And then a terribly extended medical schooling. They didn't seem to mind. The old man hardly went out of the house. The old woman we hardly saw.

All that I remember of them is her standing around as he watered the many plants their son loved. Their yard was a veritable garden.


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  7. Every few days a young boy would sweep the yard. The old couple would be seated in their veranda. I have no recollection of their voices. But they did talk with each other. I could see them from our own second-floor veranda. One day the old man fell ill. The young boy called my father, who was a medical doctor.

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    My father said it was serious. After three days he died. The effeminate son came back and made quite a scene in his wailing and flailing about. He returned to his medical school after the funeral. We only got news of the old woman from the young boy who stayed with her. He was the son of one of their tenants. He said that she refused to go out of her room. He served her her meals there. These two old couples remind me of a Guy de Maupassant short story.

    A hunter shot a bird. The other bird, its mate obviously, circled around it.

    Everything Pinoy: Courtship and Dating in the Philippines, Then and Now

    It refused to leave. It kept going around the spot where the first bird fell. Gradually it went down, still moving in circles. It was as if it wanted to be shot, too. The hunter aimed at it and killed it. They remind me, too, of an old Indian myth. In the beginning, Man and Woman were one. Somehow they got separated.

    The Man went to the right. The Woman went to the left. They had been looking for each other since then. Love or, I suppose, marriage in the myth is the discovery of our other half. The Man and the Woman become one again. We go through life looking for our other half, that which would complete us. If we don't then we go through another cycle of life, another cycle of searching.

    Life is a quest for completion by way of finding the Man or Woman who is our lost other half. What does our language tell us about love? There's a range starting with wooing, suyuan , an old fine Tagalog word that indicates a man's declaration of his love by overt action, verbal or otherwise.

    Usually it's non-verbal -- singing, glancing or stealing glances, services -- and indirect. Ligaw , a more modern term, has directness. Ibig connotes desire, wanting, even an impulse to possess the other. Its highest statement, though, is love of country -- pag-ibig sa tinubuang lupa which carries a hint of self-immolation. Mahal implies valuation, therefore, the other is prized, valued highly. It's root meaning has to do with the monetary cost of goods as in Mahal ang mga bilihin ngayon Goods are costly now.

    While manuyo from suyo and manligaw are active, they are traditionally a man's action toward a woman. A one-sided wooing, a pursuit of the woman's heart.



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